During my period of forced quarantine, I have received several gifts. Spending lots of extra time with my daughter, Willow tops the list. She just turned one on March 9th, and my goodness, she is moving now. She has been crawling for a while, but now she is crawling with speed and purpose.
I cannot take my eyes off of her for even a moment. Without fail, she is up to something. For example, if I open up an email and type a one-sentence reply and then look down to check on her, inevitably she has found a piece of lint or dirt or a paperclip to play with. I was oblivious that these items even existed until I found them in her hands (and on the way into her mouth)!
As I was trying to come up with a topic to share on sugar addiction, I realized that Willow had given me the answer. She was teaching me a valuable lesson about my recovery from sugar addiction.
I cannot leave my disease unwatched for even one second. If I do, it will be off and running on its own. I have to always be on guard for the ‘unguarded moment.’ If not, my mind feels off balance; I lose my footing, and I know relapse could be just around the corner. It might not happen right away, but it will happen down the road.
Many recovering addicts say that relapse occurs far before it really happens. Picking up or going back to our trigger foods is the final act of the process that leads us back into the disease of active addiction. We have to look at all the actions which preceded the first bite. What we did or did not do.
I am so grateful to my daughter. Her wonderment and genuine curiosity about her surroundings teach me that if I really want something, I need just to get up and get it.
Who would think a one-year-old could teach me something about my addiction? Well, I have learned and accept that I must be open and ready, no matter who the teacher is!